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What am I supposed to do?

I mean, my mother lives in the technological Stone Age; calling me every other day with some random problem or concern. Admittedly, most of the issues she challenges me with are good questions like, “My, that screen is a pretty color blue! What does that mean?” or “One of our relatives I don’t know at all is stuck in the UK; should I send them money?”

The answers to those questions are “Oh my, you are potentially screwed.” And “No, that’s just some criminal trying to scam you; much like the guy with the fake Rolexes in Toronto a few years back.”

But the other day she asked me a question that fell far deeper than any other computer bomb she could drop on me…

”Will you help me figure out Facebook?”

Pale white. Honestly, my face turned into a 600 thread count Egyptian cotton expression of  disbelief. My mom on Facebook? What could this mean? Is my social networking life doomed?

Why would I think that? Why do I suddenly feel like a 14 year old kid who’s too embarrassed to walk near his parents in the mall? Hey ma, drop me off a few blocks away; I’ll hoof it the rest of the way, and so on. And here I am, doing this all over again …and at twice the age, too!

I just want to keep my social goings on to me and my circle of friends, that’s all. Facebook is my playground, where I make plans with friends and talk about the rabble-rousing we did the weekend before. And it’s not necessarily stuff I want mommy dearest reading about. Like anyone, I just want my privacy. I don’t even think I’m FB friends with anyone else in the family, either, come to think of it. Why should this be any different?

So, at first I though everything would be fine because I figured her technological handicap would prevent her from even making her own account. I breathed an easy sigh of relief.

Until I saw that another friend of mine had accepted a request from her… perhaps I underestimated the woman. It’s only a matter of time befo-

”(Your mother) wants to be your friend on Facebook!”

Oh, snap! She’s figured it out! Now what? Do I accept and basically give up Facebook, or do I just wait and hope she loses interest in it altogether?

Bah, who am I kidding? I know I’ll end up being the good son and accepting her request.  Of course, I do have her computer in my shop right now…it could always suffer “and unfortunate accident”…

~ Andy

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21 Responses to “Yo’ Momma?”

  1. Kitty says:

    It’s funny how most all kids think their parents are stupid. Somehow, on my own, I have been able to navigate the web burn cd’s and yes, even reformat. Can you imagine, when I went to high school, calculators did not even exist. In college all of our calculations had to be done with paper and pencil. I can still remember the sheets of paper we went through in our Staticts and Probability class. When I was born, not every house had a TV….GASP! LOL So, don’t think we are all dumb because we were not born computer illerate. It goes to show, even your mom was able to figure out Face Book. I bet she can figure it out if you sabotage her computer. Oh, and every hear of Best Buy? The sell tons of new one there. I hope this was not too sarcastic, but just enough to let you know we somehow, mostly on our own, have gotten through to our ripe old ages. Enjoy face book! :)

  2. Toni says:

    As a mother whose kids are on Facebook too I can understand your mother’s perspective, but also yours. I enjoy my privacy as well, and I’m certain your mother does too. If you have something to tell your friends you don’t want your mother to know, do it privately or by email. Mom probably just wants to keep up with her friends, and maybe waste time on Facebook’s stupid games.

    Relax! After the newness wears off she’ll find more to interest her, or just go on once in a while for amusement.

    • Maxine says:

      So true! You shouldn’t put info on facebook that you wouldn’t want “your moma” to know….If you want to communicate privately, use the facebook in box. It works for me! and I am one of those “moma”, s….(smile) I love facebook because it has helped me reconnect with so many folks that I hadn’t heard from in years….Makes you pick up the phone and have a “real” conversation from time to time also. I am a grandmother who is “friends” with her children and grandchildren. When I see “stuff” on there that I don’t necessarily approve of from them, I just ignore it…..They are old enough to make their own decisions. It keeps me in the loop without interferring….

  3. Kitty says:

    the “computer illerate” was a typo….should be literate…sorry for the typo.

  4. Adrienne says:

    My children wanted me to get on face book. I can’t be bothered. I have other things to do with my time and my computer.

  5. Doug Keeling says:

    ” Like anyone, I just want my privacy…”

    Come on, man. If you “…want my privacy…”, then what are you doing with a Facebook account?

  6. Sharon says:

    OMG how funny…I just went back to Facebook today after a winter of being away from it. Steve you remind me of my son’s. And yep mom learned how to navigate the wonderful world of….The Information Highway!

    I just received an invit to be a new friend today…It turned out to be our not yet born Great Grandson to be born in Aug. They just found out that it was to be a boy. Now how about that for family keeping the family in the loop everday. :) Loving it, and nope Steve your mom will not buy the computer is not living any more story, trust me we mothers know all. Hahahahhaa. :)

  7. TOM BOYLEN says:


  8. Gay says:

    Hey Andy, Maybe your mom will send you an invite to her facebook. I wouldn’t put anything on there I wanted to keep to myself for a lot of people will read your facebook. I will be 65 next month. My daughter invited me on there. I’m sure she has stuff ahe don’t want me to know so she uses her email. Facebook is a good place just to goof off and have fun….Gay…

  9. Sharon says:

    Did someone say waste of time, and another to busy??? Woooo chill out and live a little…It is never a waste to keep up with old an new frinds..Life can pass you by really fast. Take it from me…It seems like yesterday I was 21 and soon I will be 76.. It happens gang! :(

    • Maxine says:

      I agree with Sharon….”chill out and live a little.” I’m not as old as Sharon; but I’m getting there….

  10. Sharon says:

    Sorry Steve you can give me 100 lashes with a wet noodle…:)

  11. Deveron Sheffield says:

    As a techno savvy granny, I had to giggle at your blog. The best part of my day is horrorizing my grandkids. One day my daughter was horrorizing her son and I joined in. he politely told us he wished we wouldn’t leave embarrassing comments on his FB. Does that mean me too, I whined at him. He private messaged us that he was just kidding.

    Maybe you shouldn’t take yourself so seriously.

  12. Deveron Sheffield says:

    I just read the comment about FB being a waste of time. I have found old friends from high school and am enjoying a brand new relationship with them. The best of all is my second oldest granddaughter was adopted away as an infant. She found us through FB and even though I sometimes get upset with the goings on, I will be forever grateful. FB is a lot of things, but a waste of time, not so much.

  13. radioman says:

    Seriously now, you wouldn’t even think of doing this to your own mother now, WOULD YOU?

    I think you’ll just have to grin and bear it my man.

  14. Lobster says:

    My mother did this (whos 7 children range from 30-50) within a month she was gone from facebook world…she couldnt figure out why her granchilds (my 16 yr old) teacher wanted to be her friend and thought they were spying on her so she left (turns out it was a friend suggestion…but she wouldnt go back)

  15. Kicknbak says:

    Hi Andy, I’ve been a member of FB twice now, presently going thru’ it all again. It must be a generation clash, as it’s really not that difficult to figure it out, but even after I did, “I just don’t get it”. I just rolled past the 70 landmark. I do it because my kids and grandkids think it’s neat that such an old geezer could be ‘one of the boys’ so to speak. What is the draw, what is the attraction, where is the reasoning that all these folks are willing to spend so much time ‘baring all’, and seemingly the less sense they make, the better it is?

    In the meantime my email has also gotten corrupted just because of all the prompts to go check out replies or friend requests on FB. I have also concluded to the fact that there’s nothing on there that I couldn’t have said in email to begin with. I find it’s a special time waster fantasy world for those unwilling to get outside and enjoy the real virtual world. But alas and alack, I am now a bonified, yet reticent member of the cyber hoopla until the next fad comes along. I can sit back and relax now, and I really do like most of folks that seem to think this rounds out my character in the new age.

  16. Creakyjane says:

    Oh Andy, it could be worse! You could be the computer teacher at an AFC Home that has wireless, webcams, 6 online computers and 2 scanners in a computer lab that’s open 24-7. A bad day there is when the system is down and no one can get the e-mail from the websites. The ‘walker wars’ over a new game was so bad they ended up putting it on another computer! I can only volunteer there once a week with my work schedule but wouldn’t miss it for the world. Old folks are not dumb…they can be dangerous on a computer. I sympathize about the FB. Right now everything on my farm has died and I am not too worried about it. I grew up on a farm and frankly its too clean of a virtual farm to have me worry too much about it. So don’t feel bad about not being on a social web site. Now, my parents want to learn how to twitter! I could be much worse for you. Good Luck!

  17. SYLVIA RESNICK says:

    Well isn’t it too bad that you feel intimidated and/or threatened by your mother being on Facebook. I am in the age of grandmothers and my grandsons think it is so cool that I can make my way around the computer complete with social networking sites. I do this with friends and incidentally with family members, but I only ask for help when I really need it to untangle a real problem. Get with the program my dear and bless the fact that your mother has all of her mental faculties and wants to be a part of the computer community.One day you too will have children of an age and how will you like it when they lament the fact that you are learning a new “thing” that may interfere with their life in one way or another. It will happen, believe me!!

  18. SYLVIA RESNICK says:

    Your attempt to humorize your comments are not funny Andy. Grow up now. Later it mayl be too late!!

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